I feel as if I have had a tornado come along, lift up my life and land it in a land that is upside down and inside out, but it doesn't feel merry. Things are so peaceful while the girls are at school. Rebekah and Keren play nicely together. Then Keren takes her nap and Bekah comes and has snuggle time with me. All is right with the world.
Then 2:30 comes along and it is time to pick up the girls from school. As soon as they crawl into the car the fighting begins. She said this and she did that. I wanted to play this and she wouldn't let me. She hit me so I hit her back, and the tears - oh the tears. It is enough to put me in a mental institution.
I don't understand why one feels the need to be hateful to the other all of the time. Shaping a heart is a very hard job, and sometimes I am afraid that the wrong childs heart is being shaped in the opposite way. How our lives have changed in the past 3 weeks.
I feel so insufficent for this job. Just going to the grocery store this afternoon was trauma. Even when they are all happy the decibel level is enough to burst an eardrum. My patience hangs by a thread and I am afraid I have been loosing it more lately.
There has been a true blessing in all of this. I have had the opportunity to see the Spirit in my 5 year old. Before we debated weather or not she truely understood what it meant to give her heart to Christ and to become a believer. Since Polly has come to live with us we have seen Fruit demonstrated in ways we have never seen before. Hannah handles Polly with a certain grace and forgiveness that is uncommon for a child her age. She prays for her on her own innitiative with a strong sincerity. She has expressed her love and care for Polly to her in the midst of receiving a hateful spirit in return.
Hannah has a mood disorder. She is an extremely sensitive child and does not hold up well under extreeme stress, yet the grace she has extended in the midst of hurt feelings and broken hearts has been extraordinary. I am very proud of her.
I miss her very much. The only time I have with her, Polly is home too. If I try to hold Hannah and talk with her Polly wants to climb up in my lap too. I have no quality time with Hannnah anymore and we are suffering for it. I understand that Polly needs this too, especially since she is separated from her mother currently but I have to find a balance between helping Polly and protecting my family. It is hard to do.
Rebekah is just kind of along for the ride. She is used to being the follower so having one more person to follow is no big deal to her.
Keren has been acting out more lately. She realizes that Mamma just doesn't have the attention and time to stay on her and make her obey as much. I feel aweful that I have neglected this but I still try to get in snuggle time with her.
Joy is harder to come by these days, but as I said, the blessings still remain. This is definately a time of growth and character development... for all of us.
Oh... there comes my sweet Hannah, prehaps I can get some time with her, just the two of us.
Then 2:30 comes along and it is time to pick up the girls from school. As soon as they crawl into the car the fighting begins. She said this and she did that. I wanted to play this and she wouldn't let me. She hit me so I hit her back, and the tears - oh the tears. It is enough to put me in a mental institution.
I don't understand why one feels the need to be hateful to the other all of the time. Shaping a heart is a very hard job, and sometimes I am afraid that the wrong childs heart is being shaped in the opposite way. How our lives have changed in the past 3 weeks.
I feel so insufficent for this job. Just going to the grocery store this afternoon was trauma. Even when they are all happy the decibel level is enough to burst an eardrum. My patience hangs by a thread and I am afraid I have been loosing it more lately.
There has been a true blessing in all of this. I have had the opportunity to see the Spirit in my 5 year old. Before we debated weather or not she truely understood what it meant to give her heart to Christ and to become a believer. Since Polly has come to live with us we have seen Fruit demonstrated in ways we have never seen before. Hannah handles Polly with a certain grace and forgiveness that is uncommon for a child her age. She prays for her on her own innitiative with a strong sincerity. She has expressed her love and care for Polly to her in the midst of receiving a hateful spirit in return.
Hannah has a mood disorder. She is an extremely sensitive child and does not hold up well under extreeme stress, yet the grace she has extended in the midst of hurt feelings and broken hearts has been extraordinary. I am very proud of her.
I miss her very much. The only time I have with her, Polly is home too. If I try to hold Hannah and talk with her Polly wants to climb up in my lap too. I have no quality time with Hannnah anymore and we are suffering for it. I understand that Polly needs this too, especially since she is separated from her mother currently but I have to find a balance between helping Polly and protecting my family. It is hard to do.
Rebekah is just kind of along for the ride. She is used to being the follower so having one more person to follow is no big deal to her.
Keren has been acting out more lately. She realizes that Mamma just doesn't have the attention and time to stay on her and make her obey as much. I feel aweful that I have neglected this but I still try to get in snuggle time with her.
Joy is harder to come by these days, but as I said, the blessings still remain. This is definately a time of growth and character development... for all of us.
Oh... there comes my sweet Hannah, prehaps I can get some time with her, just the two of us.
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