2 am

It's almost 2 am in the morning and I have been helping John pack up to go to Iraq. We are currently trying to decide what he will need with him in his carry on since he will be traveling for over 2 days. Figuring out what all needs to go in that little plastic bag of toiletries.
We have packed up his duffel bag and all the stuff on his pack list. He is almost set to go. Still we haven't heard from the company on the Iraq side. We are waiting on an LOA (whatever that means) before they can tell us what day he leaves. We suspect it is Friday, which means that tomorrow is our last day together. It is starting to feel real with all this packing. When we told the kids he would be gone again, it was very intersting their different reactions. Hannah just cried and cried (she is our very sensitive, empathetic one). Bekah gave her daddy a hug and said she would miss him. We asked her how she felt and she paused and said "well"(she says "well" a lot when she is thinking)"sometimes I can't remember what your face looks like". How sad, there daddy has been away so much that she forgets what his face looks like. Keren is only 3. She just doesn't act like it fazes her. That bothers me. She is so used to him being gone it is the norm for her now. I look foward to the end of the year when he is home. Of course, we will always face separations. That seems to be the path we constantly walk down. If he works for the FBI or Secret Service that will be the norm for us. However, it won't be a constant separation like we have been experiencing... we are about to experience. I wonder what life would be like if he had gone into hotel management straight out of college instead of the Army? What if he had gone to OCS instead of gradschool? It seems everything has lead us and prepared us for this. I know God has a plan. Sometimes the plan just seems so weird and I have to wonder where it will lead afer this chapter in life. I don't think we will ever be a "normal" family, where daddy comes home every evening for dinner. I believe we will always have frequent periods of separation. Only God really knows, and I know that what He leads us to her will prepare us for and take care of us in the midst of it. If you are reading this... pray for us. Pray for the path we will walk down and that we will be equipped to travel it. Pray for the children, that they will stay close to their daddy while he is far away. Pray for me. I hold a lot together on my own. I need to constantly be dependent on the one who holds me together. ... I sure wish there was a spell check on here.